Parenting Styles &
Most parents can be classified into
four main types by the style in which they guide their children. As we discuss each, think about where you fit most appropriately. Do you use the same style? Do you fit the outcome?
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Authoritarian Parents: Limits without Freedom.
- Parents� word is law
- Parents have absolute control.
- Misconduct is punished
- Affection and praise are rarely given
- Parents try to control children's� behavior and attitudes
- Parents value unquestioned obedience
- Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.
Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that
they are often prevented from making a conscious choice about particular behavior because
they are overly concerned about what their parents will do.
They will become
- Lacking achievement drive
Permissive or Indulgent Parents: Freedom without limits.
- Parents allow their children to do their own thing.
- Little respect for order and routine.
- Parents make few demands on children.
- Impatience is hidden.
- Discipline is lax
- Parents are resources rather than standard makers
- Rarely punish
- Non controlling, non-demanding
- Usually warm
- Children walk all over the parents
Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain
and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.
They will become:
- Least self�reliant
- Least self-controlled
- Least exploratory
- Most unhappy
Democratic or Authoritative: Freedom within limits.
Middle ground between the two above
- Parents stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all
- Parents set limits and enforce rules
- Parents are willing to listen receptively to child�s requests and questions.
- Love is unconditional but limits are set. Parents are loving, consistent, demanding
- Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisions
- Parents exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it.
- Parents respect children�s interest, opinions, unique personalities.
- Parents combine control with encouragement
- Parents have reasonable expectations and set realistic standards.
Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate
actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also
experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success.
The children become:
- Mostly self-reliant
- Mostly self-controlled
- Content, friendly, generous
- less likely to be seriously disruptive or delinquent
Indifferent Parents : Absentee (physical and /or mental)
- Parents are not committed to their role as parents.
- They are not available for the child
- Harsh, unresponsive, unsupportive.
- Ignore or neglect the child
- Insensitive to child's needs
Children whose parents are not available to guide them grow up in a
vacuum without any idea of what to do or how to do it. Their development
is affected and they become:
- Low positive behavior
- High negative behavior.
- Usually disliked by peers
- Infrequently nominated as best friends.