Im a female, 26 yrs old. I've approached you to fInd a solutIon for my emotIonal dIsturbances. My father deserted my famIly rIght at my age of 3. we (my mother, brother and myself) are lIvIng wIth my grandparents sInce then. I havent receIved any kInd of love and care so far from them.
Everyone hated me In my famIly, esp my grandmother. she doesnt lIke gIrl chIld. Im the only gIrl In our famIly. also, we were left wIth no money. she started showIng her hatred In all possIble ways to me. she has hurt me physIcally and mentally In a number of ways and tImes.
I longed for a father's care. I couldnt balance It emotIonally. I wasnt allowed to have frIends, I wasnt gIven any kInd of care whIch was completely shredded on my elder brother. he receIved everythIng materIally and emotIonally. whIle he had a cup-board, table, computer, vehIcle, etc etc for hImself, I was never gIven a prIvIlege to use them too.
All my relatIves (my mother's sIblIngs) called me a head-strong person, adamant one rIght from my younger age. I longed for love. I never receIved It. I fell for It even whIle I was In school. I loved a person(my classmate) who showed so much of care on me. I was just 13 years old then. It was an InfactuatIon- an out-burst for my longIng. my mother and brother started reactIng for that In a very harsh way. I was beaten up n-number of tImes, deprIved of good clothes, outIng etc. thIs made me have a more stronger hold on hIm.
My mother runs a beauty parlour. she herself started spreadIng news about me to all her customer frIends. even If my grandfather talks In a supportIve way at tImes, my mother would dIsagree for It. she treated me as her own enemy.
As years passed by, when I was In 10th std, I started meetIng hIm regularly outsIde school premIses. whenever my mother, brother and other famIly members would Ill-treat me, and torture me, I would try to contact hIm and he would be a great console for me.
As days passed, theIr behavIor towards me grew worser. my mother had by then spread bad Ideas about me to everyone In our localIty. people looked down worse at me. I was consIdered a person wIth Ill morals.
My love relatIonshIp was stIll contInuIng and wIth hIs support I left home and went to a prIvate hostel and contInued my hIgher studIes. meanwhIle my mother was better to me and I too vIsIted my house frequently.
Then, I started workIng stayIng In the same hostel. I worked for two years. I dIdnt expect any support esp fInancIally from my famIly. those days, everytIme I reached home, there would be a problem that my brother would create and fIght wIth me and hurt me wIth all Im a female, 26yrs old. I've approached you to find a solution for my emotional disturbances. My father deserted my family right at my age of 3. we (my mother, brother and myself) are living with my grandparents since then. I havent received any kind of love and care so far from them.
I longed for a father's care. I couldnt balance it emotionally. I wasnt allowed to have friends, I wasnt given any kind of care which was completely shredded on my elder brother. he received everything materially and emotionally. while he had a cup-board, table, computer, vehicle, etc etc for himself, I was never given a privilege to use them too.
All my relatives (my mother's siblings) called me a head-strong person, adamant one right from my younger age. I longed for love. I never received it. I fell for it even while I was in school. I loved a person(my classmate) who showed so much of care on me. I was just 13 years old then. it was an infactuation- an out-burst for my longing. my mother and brother started reacting for that in a very harsh way. I was beaten up n-number of times, deprived of good clothes, outing etc. this made me have a more stronger hold on him.
My brother is 2 yrs elder to me. he married last year. it was a love marriage. but his was supported very well. he has behaved very badly in his school and college days which only I know. he knew that our family wont believe anything I said. so he was always the best boy for them and I was the worst in their view.
My mother asked me to come home and stay with her further. with repeated thinking and discussion with my lover- caretaker, I decided to go and stay with her again. only after that he got married.
Now its exactly one year since I hav come here. my lover-caretaker is ready to marry me. his family is a well-to-do family. this is going to be the first love marriage in their family. his father is objecting this love. but the rest are ready. for this reason only they're getting his sister married though she is just 21.
Surely we'l get married in a few months. but I couldnt bear the reactions of my family here. im almost like a paying guest. I buy my own things including my soap, shampoo eatables etc etc. im currently working from home. it helps me meet my needs. stil no one converses with me, they look down at me always. my relatives don’t wish to talk to me. my brother always hates me. I was troubled emotionally in many ways when my brother got married. my SIL too started ill treating me. I found no way and attempted suicide.
But I was saved. this idea to commit suicide has popped out many times in my life so far and I have attempted too. ill-fate- I still live. I go out once in a week to meet him. but every day menace is making me cry a lot and get depressed everyday everytime. im fixed to a chair, a table and a bookshelf and my own laptop throughout the day. im finding it harder to move on this way anymore. Please help me.
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