i am going on a very abusive relationship. Now i am very depressed not able to do anything, We r in relationship since 11months. It will b an year by dis may 12,

i am really madly in love with him. I want to b all time around him, But now i am totally scared that he would abuse or beat me.

He many times abused me n beat me, We had sex,He is really very possessive which turned to doubting me, checking on me each n every sec.

He thinks i sleep with every guy friend, I am not over friendly. Also  he says he is too much short tempered nt able to control n says smiply sorry, But once he says sorry
i cant stop talkin myself wid him. I forgive him nxt minute,

But now it has gone too far he beats me a lot n abuses almost evryday. He  calls me bitch, prostitute ,asshole n all. I feel worst.

Ii askd him to change many times. To consult psychiatrist, He says yes but never took seriously, He abuses me evry day wid all those words, Its really hurting.

i am nt able to concentrate on anythin,, He blackmails me all time dat he would tell my brother about us, I feel like someone is after me followin me evry second , He abuses me if i dont answer his calls as soon as he calls or dont reply him as soon he messages, He starts abusing in no time,

I am scared whole time lik some one is going to beat me if i am late, I am not in peace. I am scared watever I do. Even eating, watch movie ,surfing net, Even being with family. That this guy would start fightin if i dont answer him through txt or call as soon as he does.

Wwhatever i do i have to tell him even when going to washroom also. Wat if he calls dat tym n i wont answer n he gets angry n abuses me? Ii feel like crying all time. I hide my tears evry sec.

And he says tell me u r not free. Wat shall i tell him wen he wont try to  understand normal small things, Even if i tell i am scared dat u abuse n all ,only for maximum 10 mins to one day he will b normal. After that he starts abusing and  if alone beating. Also,it really hurts who wants BF to beat n abuse calling bitch n all?

For an example 1 day bak i was on call with my aunt. He called that time. It was call waiting. He was continuously calling  me even after I cutted , After 15 mins wen i called him he said whom r u talkin with. Dont lie. Really dont make me angry now, You are a bitch, prostitute. Most of the times this happens

No matter what even after getting abused this much evryday i should b normal with him laughin n all, I am not able to cover that. I feel like cryin. I am not able to act happy after getting abused that much, He behaves as if nothing happened n says get lost bitch dont talk to me - as if i spoiled his mood.

He says i am nothin but a prostitute for him n abuses me evryday calling bitch. if i say nothin he will say all time i am giving excuses, Even if i say i am sleepy also even wen i go for a movie or sleepin or anytime he texts me. Iif i dont reply he starts abusin. He wont understand at all. If he gets more angry he starts blackmailing me. I cant do anythin except crying. Please suggest me what to do.

Dr. Gautham's reply:

Please see my webpages on Suspicion and Personality Disorder .

11 months is long enough. He knows what he is doing to you.  And your reaction to his abuse.

Each time you take him back no matter what he has done to you it only reinforces his behaviour.

Unless you want to suffer this for the rest of your life, you are going to have to break up with him. It will only get worse, not better.

If he really loves you, he will understand, and he will get psychiatric treatment in order to to control himself.

If he gets treated maybe you can get back together later, but for now the best thing for you and for him is for you to get away.