Below is a question with Dr. Gautham's reply to it.

Make your question as detailed as possible to enable an appropriate suggestion / direction that is specific to you. Include details of problem / symptoms, duration, details of associated persons / situations, aggravating factors if any, and relevant personal details

I am a 24 yr girl doing post graduation which I will be completing soon and advancing on getting a good profession. I am just waiting for formal completion. As a student I was average or above, I have a supportive family but also have lot of crisis all the time. But that is not the problem.

Tthe problem is that I have never good friends or a best friend, Whoever comes into my life all were for a means. When they are done with their need they left  me with a bitter feeling, Even as I become older with more wider social life this  has never changed, Recently also the same thing happened again. A while back I tried not to be involved with any person, male or female, but thought that I may be able to handle myself. And this time I hope for good and started going out with group of people. They were not new to me and the approach was also from their side so I went ahead. But now I come to know that I was kind of use and throw for them.

I am old enough to understand that this is the way of life. This has happened many times since my school days but I was not so much concerned. But now I feel I am more matured but people do the same thing again and I am not able to controll myself, I am really disturbed. Now I doubt myself. But though I know that what they are up to, I can not be rude or ill treat  them, Whenever they ask for help and all I try to help if its possible, though I know that they will never think about me. I really don't know what to do, how to behave, and it its affecting my studies as well as my health and my new career. They are openly making fun of me, and I can not do anything like a dumb. idiot.

Dr. Gautham's Reply:

I’m glad that you are reaching out for help with your confusing and painful emotions and trying to figure out what to do to feel better. What I can tell from your letter is that you seem to be suffering with a host of issues.

You have problems with relationships, managing your feelings, feeling that you are not worthy of love, and much more. It is possible that your earlier crises have resulted in low self confidence, need to feel loved, and uncertainty in handling others. This must be causing you great anguish. It may be that you are always picking the same kind of friends which you think you need. You may be wanting to feel needed and important, but your friends may not see you in the same way.

Find out what it is that is making them uncomfortable with you. Are you too pushy and want your opinion to be felt all the time? Do you always try to do things better than them, which makes them feel that you are showing off or threatened? Does your need to be accepted make you overly helpful to the point of being intrusive? Does your need for them make you push yourself on to them? Are they wary of your emotions when you are with them?

You must learn what is affecting your relationships and how to have better them,  and how not to cling to people, and how to act in a more appropriate way. You must learn to be there for them when they need you, and avoid pursuing them when you need them. You must develop self confidence and learn to be independent. You must find better ways to manage your emotions. The issues that you are facing are very treatable and if you find a good therapist he or she will teach you how you can change your behavior and feelings. Take care.