Sir,  I am a prefinal year engineering student .iIam in love with a boy for past one year .He too loves me .We knew each other about our family back ground. He is second son to his dad. We planned to wait for three years after our studies .so that i will persue my higher studies and he will settle in his job since he got educational loan . I planned to do higher studies only for him. Since my parents may plan for my marriage if i am free in home since i am not allowed to work.

We agreed each other that our marriage should happen with our parents blessing and not oppossing them.
We are of same age. I spoke to his mom twice in phone .he intro me as his friend .I feel very happy to have him. Every thing was fine. He used to care for me a lot .I can feel the love he had for me. As like others we too will have little little fights and speak soon.

He suddenly started to fear for our future lot. Even I too have the fear. I didnt show him my fear much and consoled him.

He is very gentle boy, He know about me, That I am a sensitive person. We fight a lot but he never said a harsh word to me. What ever the fight may be we end it in a single day and find a solution for it .

As the days passed he started thinking little negative. He limted the speech to me. One day after his trip to his aunty home .he suddenly stopped speaking to me . I first thought he is playing with me. But it became two weeks.

What ever the fight may be he never stopped speaking to me In this one year .there is no response from his side for my 100's and 100's of msg and missed calls.One day he said me not to disturb untill exams gets over .

i feel really terrible without talking to him. I feel very depressed and disturbed. I know he still loves me .He avoids me for some reason.and he keeps himself away from me. I cant imagine a life without him. He is my first love.

i dont know what he going to speak after exam.Whether to take it serious or play? Why he doing like this ? I really going mad thinking over all this ...Please help me handle this situation ..

Dr. Gautham's Reply:

Looks like its time for some tough love:

Even if he has told you in the past he wants to get married or live together, if he can let days pass without as little as even a text message or email, he may have changed his mind. If he wanted to be with you forever, he wouldn't be ignoring you and you contacting him wouldn't push him away. There is nothing you can do.

He needs to figure it out and you can't force it. I wouldn't just drop it but you need to give him time then try and contact him and see what's up.

Sometimes going away and being able to think about things on your own gives you a different perspective. He may be trying that. He may be under different influences now and experiencing new things. I would just give it time.

There is no need to beat yourself up about it. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  If he needs some time to think things through, give it to him. As tough as that's going to be, you need to back away and let him sort out whatever needs sorting.

If you are clingy right now it will probably have the opposite effect that you want. Maybe it's just a false alarm. I wouldn't badger him If I were you, just wait it out for a week or so. 

I hope things work out for the best. Spend time with your friends, exploring your own interests and making sure you are not sitting by the phone. When he's ready to come out of his shell, he'll let you know.

If he comes out of his shell and discovers you aren't desperate for his phone call (i.e you don't pick up immediately), he may actually come around. I know it's really hard to wait in a situation like this, but it's the best thing you can do right now.

Of course it is much easier for me to say that if he does not contact you you should just move on and find someone new than it actually is for you to do that, but that it probably is what needs to happen. I would definitely be easier to at least get some closure from him, but if he won't return your calls, then it looks like it may not be an option.

 Good luck