I am 25yrs old girl. My family was arranging for my marriage with my acceptance. I didn't have any love issues as I love my mom and believe in her choice.

7 months back my mom preferred an alliance and the guy talked with me after the horoscope match confirmed by his parents.  He lives in London. We discussed things over phone and we started to love each other. His parents visited our house too.

After a month his dad didn't accept telling horoscope mismatch. The guy tried to convince his dad but went in vain. Now after so much of arguements, my family is accepting to arrange for our marriage. But he misses his family. We want to marry but not without his dad's permission. Shall we proceed with the marriage without his permission? I feel guilty and afraid of the future and our social/family relationships? Also my parents tell that wen the guy comes out of his family, he will be leave me if we have a quarrel in future.

I want to know what can be done with his dad's issue and whether I can proceed with the marriage? I love him. Finally one information. I have completed MBBS last year. I feel my profession is important than the marriage issues. I regret for all these issues. Please guide me to take a proper decision..

Dr. Gautham's Reply:

First of all you have to decide what you want. You must prioritize.

Do you want a career in medicine or a marriage first? If you decide that it is a career in medicine that get preference, your marriage can wait. In such a case, you can wait for him to convince his father to consent for the marriage, and then get married.

If you decide that marriage takes precedence, you must be willing to let your career take a back seat. In such a situation you then have to figure out why his father is against the match when the horoscope match was initially confirmed by his parents. The horoscope mismatch appears just to be an excuse and you have to find out the real reason why his father is against the marriage now.

It is important that you convince his father before you get married because he values his family.  You are right about the importance of social relationships post-marriage.

I would not recommend going into the marriage against his family. Remember, if you are both strong, no one can force either of you to marry someone else. But, you have to be willing to wait. And once his father sees that he is seriously intent on marrying you, I am sure that he will turn around, unless he is an unreasonable man who does not care for his son's feelings.

Under the circumstances the best bet would be for you to plan to take the PLAB test and get a job in UK. You will then be nearer to your fiance, your relationship will strengthen, and it will show his father that you are serious about joining his son. It will also take the tedium out of the wait. Then, when he is able to convince his father, you can get married. I am sure that you will find that it was well worth the wait. Let me know how it turns out.