Madhu, 24 years old,  about her experience (excerpted from the original 20 page write up) January 2012 :

About the problem:

It was in 2009 that I passed college… Initially my studies were really good, but I always had the tendency to doubt my capabilities and this problem multiplied…. Day by day it was getting difficult to study…this created a hollow in me psychologically…. I closed my social interaction….
 
It was in late December (2010) that I had very high suicidal tendencies and started to suddenly think about the past…. I had too much of behavioral changes…. I did not attend phones, did not talk to the servant, and even avoided my mother’s calls….

In January (2011) I felt so low… I also had strange ideas popping from nowhere about life and death…. I had so much bitterness that I stopped even touching the newspaper……. I would have very high mood swings and during that time I would criticize my Mom by saying that she was wrong all the time…. This shocked everybody but my mind was already out of control…

In February….changed my entire personality. My brain began to think about (the same) conversation day and night……. I started changing my dressing style … I also became very scared of my Dad….I went to temple..started reading sloka books, going to the internet to see some prayers, and epics… bought (prayer) beads. But nothing helped… I started telling my mother that my Dad was doing black magic and even my grandparents were involved. I started looking into the Internet about black magic…… I started calling my friends and told them that I felt like my dad was doing black magic etc…. I was no more normal or myself at home, in my room or even outside.  I went out and did (everything) rightly but my mind was no more into it. I even did (social service but) Even there I found it very difficult to concentrate. I used to come to my place, eat, watch TV, sleep for very less time, talk in phone, watch TV, and the evenings and night became unbearable. Nights began to scare me. I could not sleep al all. I used to visualize ghosts…. I started ranting ….to my friends… I started talking for hours and yet I would feel like only 10 minutes have passed.

In March and April I would not sleep. I started waking up my servant and ….talking…for hours after which she would sleep and I would sleep for a few hours. I would get up at odd times, would not bathe regularly / brush. I felt severe pain in my head and would just cry at times. I would be repeating lines again and again. I felt like I was in an island with no one. I felt that I was not bound by ant norms. I used to have weight fluctuations. … I revisited my entire past… I no more felt that I had any identity. I felt like an orphan and talked senselessly for hours. ..i could not even distinguish relationships… the worst part of this phase was that apart from sitting on one thought for a long time, I would also ask my brain not to think. So at one minute I (would) have a thought  (and) the next minute my brain would ask, “Is this thought right?”. This basically meant that I had lots of mixed signals. ….

In May….I felt numb and lifeless but my family did not find anything wrong. ..

In June (2011) the numbness remained. I continued sleeping and could not watch TV… I finally told Mom that I wanted to ...visit a psychiatrist.

About the treatment:

The first time I came to you (in July 2011) I had no hope….BUT

Within 2 days (of starting treatment) the numbness disappeared.

For me it was a miracle as I finally could at least know what I had been doing (wrong) since December.

• I also felt some life within me.
•  My fear disappeared.
• I could touch and read the newspaper.
• I could differentiate right from wrong at least as far as relationships were concerned. 

After the second visit I felt more of the society and norms around me.

• I could gradually spend time without depending on my family.
• I felt some reactions in my brain that actually relieved me.
• There was a sense of time.

After the third visit … the most important thing is the disappearance of mixed signals.

• Better decision making.
• Thinking with better clarity and with sense.
• Reading with better understanding than before.
• Very importantly, I could remember the exact past (nature) of my relationship (when sick) with whom all I had talked and felt shocked about what I had done.
• Better emotions.
• I have my own thoughts.

Overall I have felt.. lively and happy.

Thank you Doctor FOR THE MIRACLES!

March 2013 Update:

It is now just over a year since I started treatment with Dr. Gautham. I follow the doctor's instructions and medicines and have undergone two courses of electromagnetic-subsonic brain stimulation. The stimilation helped me to focus my brain and prepare for my examination. I am now perfectly fine. I am able to study well and have just taken my exams and performed well.

Thank you, once again,  Dr. Gautham.

Madhu